Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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