Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
