I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i am craving dick and cupcakes
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
