She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
