I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i can't believe i had my finger in that
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize