Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
