i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
ugly people sure do ruin things
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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