I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
