I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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