I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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