Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
