pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
