then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
