maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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