"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
