i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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