great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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