dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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