oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
