she looked like the bat from fern gully.
where am i from again
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
