Ketchup is God's man juice
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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