I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
