She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so let's talk penis.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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