Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
