I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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