The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
