you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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