Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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