Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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