I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
