I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize