Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
