TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
