Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
