Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
