Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
