For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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