You made me cry and you don't even care
More tranny stories later!
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
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