Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize