I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I FOUND THE LEGS
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
