Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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