you guys were way drunker than both of me
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
