you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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