So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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