Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize