my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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