He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
