dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
