hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
