just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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