Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
