Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
