First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I will pee on everything he values.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
