What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
