I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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