I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
There r osticjed everywhere
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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