Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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