those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
