i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
