like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize