how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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