I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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