You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Life is so much better after having sex.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
