Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Sponge bath it is.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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