I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Just pee around me
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
