Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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