Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
