He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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