after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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