Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
